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THE OFFICE MEETS PARKS AND REC

Across
APRIL'S FAVORITE BAND
"IF I HAD AN HOUR ALONE WITH ROBERT PATTINSON, HE WOULD FORGET ALL ABOUT SKINNY LEGS MAGEE."
"I THINK THAT COMIC SANS SCREAMS FUN, RIGHT?"
"IF TOM WERE A BAG OF FLOUR, THAT BAG OF FLOUR WOULD NEVER GROW UP TO BE A HAPPY, WELL-ADJUSTED, LOAF OF BREAD."
WHAT IS PHYLLIS' MAIDEN NAME?
WHAT IS THE LAST NAME OF LESLIE'S TEENAGE ARCH ENEMY?
"I'M GLAD SHE'S GOT A FRIEND AT WORK THAT SHE CAN GET THROUGH THE DAY WITH. THAT WAY SHE'S NOT ALL 'BLAH BLAH BLAH' WHEN SHE GETS HOME."
"HORIZONS ARE DUMB. NEVER BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS."
WHAT DOES LESLIE CALL THE BATHROOM?
WHAT IS ROBERT CALIFORNIA'S REAL NAME?
Down
"YOU POOR SIMPLE BOY. EXPECTED A MAN, DID YOU?
"AIDS IS NOT FUNNY. BELIEVE ME, I HAVE TRIED."
WHAT IS THE DOUCHE'S REAL NAME?
"CALZONES ARE POINTLESS."
BEN'S GAME IS CALLED THE CONES OF______
WHAT IS STANLEY'S FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
WHAT IS THE OCCUPATION OF PAM'S BLIND DATE?
WHAT DOES THE GIFT MICHAEL GIVES TOBY SAY ON IT?
WHY DID KELLY GO TO JAIL FOR A YEAR?
"THE KIDS HERE ARE BEEFY. THEY ARE JUST HUSKY, BIG-BONED, CHUNK MONSTERS. I CALL THEM LIKE I SEE THEM."
I LOVE FAKE BOOBS. OFTEN TIMES, YOU FIND THEM ON STRIPPERS."