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The Cynical Scribe's Guide to the Top Twenty US Oncology Labs

Looking for granular and up-to-date intelligence on cancer testing in the US, Europe, and Japan? Contact [email protected] for a Zoom tour of our research.
Across
We're #5. We bit the hand the feeds us, then the hand that feeds us sued us, then we kissed the hand that sued us. Then the hand forgave us.
We're #16. We're the #4 CGP lab. Half of us like the Cubs and the other half prefer the White Sox. None of us like Guardant, Foundation, or Caris
We're #17. We're the Wasatch Mountains reference lab.
We're #15. Once we were called Cohen Derm, then Caris, then Miraca, then InformDx. Our latest parent bought us with their Covid windfall.
We're #19. Yes, we are publicly-traded, but we're run by two brothers, so we're sort of a family business.
We're #6. We survived 2022 (our year of the three CEOs), then things got a lot better in 2023 - 16% revenue growth.
We're #11. The house that thyroid FNAs built got 22% bigger last year.
We're #1. Last year we turned nearly 4m bowel movements into $495 invoices.
We're #4. G'Day, Mate. We'll get serious about the NGS business when there's serious money to be made at it.
We're #12. We bought a bow and some arrows for $1.4b in 2020, then sold them for $48m in 2022. Now the buzzards are circling.
Down
We're #7. Our MRD revenues were up 73% last year. We're now #2 in NGS oncology, #1 in NIPT, and the world's #1 sequencing lab by revenue.
We're #18. Most sales execs who call on us like to check out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame afterwards.
We're #3. In 2020 we were in the back of the NGS pack; since then we've been trying to catch up by running with Blueprint, Haystack, and Ultima.
We're #8. Since 1996 we've been the BRCA Brat. The other kids quit playing with us, so in November we made peace at the ClinVar sandbox.
We're #9. Our daddy is the richest pharma/diagnostics firm. He used to be so generous, but now he's reduced our allowance and given us a curfew.
We're #13. The northernmost academic reference lab in the country. Late last year we dove into the AI business with Techcyte.
We're #20 - and a recovering Covid addict, trying to find our way in the new world. What a long, stange trip it's been.
We're #14. We're the second-richest private oncology lab, but you didn't know how rich we are, because all our pathologists stealth invoice under their own names.
We're #2 but cancer testing was just 8-9% of our revenues last year.
We're #10. Shares of the nine labs ahead of us are all publicly-traded. We took in the most oncology money last year of any private lab.