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Punch words from the Edinburgh fringe!

This is not easy but I hope you have a bit of fun.  When there are two words there is a space between them.
Across
“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Xxxx free.” 4
“Hedgehogs – why can’t they just xxxxx the hedge?” 5
“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, xxxxx xxxxx.” 5,5 Clue: “never say never”
I sent a food parcel to my ex-wife (Clue: the guy used a US delivery service) XXXXX 5
I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get xxxxx 5
My attempts to combine Nitrous Oxide and OXO made me a xxxxxxxx zzzzz 8,5 Clue: think of what OXO makes…
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Xxxxxxxx!” 8
Down
“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – well, it was just collecting xxxx.” 4
: “My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own xxxxx.” 5
“I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx.” 7,5 Clue: It's not India or Japan
I can’t even by bothered to be xxxxxxxxx these days. 9
I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? xxxxxxx 7 Clue: did he find a fork in the road?